Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
false alarm. still invincible.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
