Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have fence marks all over my body
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
