we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
