plz talk dirty to me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
