did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
