I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This house was built for laser tag.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
