She's JV to your varsity
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
