Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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