i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
