dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
