Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
