I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
