Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
