I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
