Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
