Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
