wanna go halves on a baby?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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