There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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