pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm too high and old for this...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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