The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
