yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
