16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
