I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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