i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
