i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
