Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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