I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
