I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
