We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
