I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
