It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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