dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
