so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
