The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
should my penis look like a turkey
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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