His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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