do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
