she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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