guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
