Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
