If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
