sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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