Me. At least after what I've been through.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
