How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
