ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The best revenge is premature balding
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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