So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
