Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Rumble strips road head = magical
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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