They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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