dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
what day is it and did you see me today?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
