Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
