Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
