she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
